Well hey there, I know I know what you’re thinking, who gives a bloody hearty welcome back and then doesn’t write anything for 4 months…me. Firstly, let me just start off with that I hope you are well, I hope you had the best summer ever and if in the UK are now enjoying this pleasant rainy season! I feel like with the summer leaving us behind and getting into the colder, bleaker days I’m getting that feeling of wanting to write again. I know I’ve said that before because it’s true, it’s not that I ever don’t want to write but, it’s just trying to find that time between work, social, fitness and all the in between. I’m currently typing this on my phone as I have a quick 30 minutes before clubbersize in the hope that I can then finish it off this week!
Today’s blog, you guessed it, it’s about my single journey and how I’ve found it to be over these last 14 months and everything I have learnt about being on my own. I feel like this is a good way to round things up on that subject as if you look back through, I wrote a blog soon after my breakup and then 6 months into my singletown life. I can’t believe I’m actually going to say this, but I really do feel settled and comfortable with being on my own. Considering from the age of 16 to then 21 I was so dependent on that one person and so just used to them in my life all the time, being by myself was such a scary uneasy feeling.
So, as I said in my Valentine’s Day blog after I was very newly single I did feel heart broken, I was unemployed, I’d moved out of the family home & everything just seemed to be going the opposite way to what I’d hoped. For me it was important to focus on having fun on the weekends whilst putting all effort into finding a new job in the week. I think when you have come out of a long relationship it is so important to get your friends round you, go out and have a laugh, drink and of course clubbing! I was quite anxious and nervous about going out at first but slowly built up more confidence and it was that confidence that reassured me being on your own isn’t so bad and neither is going out on the pull hehee! Six months down the line (I did get what is the job I’ve felt the happiest in ever) and I kind of reached a point where as an independent woman I felt like I’d enjoyed the dating aspect, meeting new people and having some ‘fun’ we shall call it, however, I felt like a lot of my time was being focused on that and what really was the point when I knew I wasn’t necessarily ready for anything so I decided to start putting more of a focus on myself….
So, here I am now, in the bath currently finishing this off as well as sipping on my hot coffee and eating my homemade chicken burger (sorry veggies), it’s moments like this that I really appreciate being alone. I know to some people that might sound lonely and not the most exciting thing ever but, I like it just having my own space to think, write and eat! However, I wouldn’t have got through my breakup and some of the darker times without my friends who really have been amazing and supportive, Emily and Lauren you have been my absolute rocks through this journey, and I couldn’t of done it without you. I always joke about not having many friends just because I find it very hard to trust people and open up to actually being myself (I’m very odd & sometimes even a bit gross, I know tinder bio right there) but these ladies except me for who I am and you don’t always need a big circle as long as you’ve got people who are really there for you and you for them.
I feel like my next stage of being single is (no not getting a partner) but, I hope these ladies won’t mind me saying but they are now both in new relationships!!! I couldn’t be happier for them as they both deserve true love and happiness and I hope that’s what they have found. However now I come here to say I’m the ‘single’ one, the crazy cat lady to some (which is quite amusing as I actually work for an animal charity) but I guess the next stage would be getting along with this change because such a huge part of my single life was going out with my friends all the time on nights out and of course these will still happen but as they normally would in these cases they will lessen and I think I’ll find myself even more independent which is scary but exciting to go and try things truly on my own. It’s good because I know I will have less excuses not to write because I will have more time and spend less time on hangovers. I recently purchased a new gym membership & I can’t wait to get started on that especially with some of the classes that they have it will be good to meet new people as well. I also am still yet to learn the electric guitar which I bought off my brother, but I want to be able to play at least a few songs by Christmas hehee.
My point being to this blog and with my Instagram post and posting the old video from a year ago is things do get better, I think heartbreak is such an underrated thing because it can be such a big thing and it’s so hard to move on, its certainly not an easy journey but slowly but surely you will get there. I think you just have to push yourself out there, meet new people, give enough time in the week to focus on you and it may sound sad but just really enjoy those alone moments whether it’s going for walk, reading a book, listening to music or a podcast, having a bath and just give yourself that time to breathe and think, think about where you see yourself and who you want to be and where you want to be and maybe in time you just might meet that right person. I’m yet to meet mine but I am in no need to rush it and just look forward to where I’m going to take me.
Well we did it, over a couple of nights I got the above finished, woohoo! As all ways thank you very much the few of you that are out there for taking the time to read this and I hope you found it relatable. I have been asked to take part in an amazing campaign next Monday the 7th of October for World Arthritis Day by the Instagram page Versus Arthritis (check them out!) all about raising awareness about the condition and what pain it can bring, along with uploading a picture I intend to post a blog about how arthritis effected my life pre hip replacements so hopefully you’ll be able to take a read of that too. Remember you are brilliant and even on those down days always try and pick yourself up because there are plenty who believe in you!
See you soon,