Hello! Yes I’m here back at It again, although slightly struggling…you’d think as someone who enjoys writing, having lots of things to talk about would be a good thing, but it’s very jumbled so I will definitely have to re-read this a few times before it’s posted…not that you care, but at least you know I am trying…sort of. I hope you’re all good and keeping well, can you believe how closely we are reaching the end of the year it’s crazy! I feel like this year has held a lot of ups and downs for myself, but one of the highlights for sure has been the amount of travelling I’ve gotten to do. Now I’ve told you about Iceland and Croatia and now there’s just one more review I have to write about and as you can probably guess by the title it’s… (drum roll)…AMSTERDAM! Oh what a place it is too, so if you’d like to hear about how eating space cakes gave me the worst diarrhoea of my life, how my friend and I got to film a live proposal and what it was like spending over three hours in a sex show, then carry on reading…I’m a celeb has finished so what more have you got to lose really!
So, this was the first trip this year where I went with a friend, she’s called Emily, 21, right laugh and it was our first holiday together. We’d both been through a bit of heartbreak in the year and were no longer with our previous long-term partners (boo-hoo) so we thought now is the time to treat ourselves and have fun and what better place to do it than Amsterdam! We booked for 4 nights and 5 days, which a lot of people said was quite a long time, but due to the amount of drinking we did it was perfect as we could treat ourselves to a lie in on the hangovers. I’m usually much more of an Airbnb kind of person over hotels, so I found a lovely apartment online in which I was under the illusion it was a 10-minute walk into the centre…turns out it was 45! Still, it was a very nice apartment and good that we had a whole place to ourselves, however next time I would just book a hotel in the city centre as it makes it a lot easier with walking, especially when in heels.
So, everything was booked and off we went early on a Thursday morning back in September (I know I know, not acceptable how long this has taken to write!). Flight was perfect, taxi was easy to get from the airport to our apartment, met our host got some useful tips and some delicious waffles, left our bags and off we went. Our first day we weren’t 100% sure on the usage of the trams so we decided to walk…bad idea, we walked for what was almost a good hour and in that time Emily had had some dodgy near misses with the cyclists (side note, you hear lots of people talking about the cyclists before you go and how to be careful, but you don’t really take note of it…well I’m here to tell you to, TAKE NOTE, there’s bloody loads of them and they’re not always on the look out either!) So, eventually we finally made it into the centre and what’s the first thing we did, can you guess? That’s right the sex museum, it was 5 or 10 euro to get in but it was worth it just to look around at all the many penises and vaginas, I’m not going to even try to explain what it is like in there and it’s not as horrendous as you might think but it’s worth doing whilst your there. We then walked up to the main station into this travel office type place and bought some tram & metro cards that would last us three days, after this we found a cute bar had some drinks, got merry and went and bought our space cookies (cookies with supposedly cannabis in them, we were in Amsterdam, what do you expect). I will just side track to say that before we booked our trip, we were under the illusion Amsterdam bar and restaurant wise was cheap, it’s not, it’s not horrifically expensive, but if you were looking for a cheap holiday, I wouldn’t recommend it, just a little tip for you there.
By the time we got home it was dark and we were absolutely knackered, so we sat down, put on Friends and got cosy. Then we decided to have a few of these space cookies, now I don’t know whether we just got a bad batch, but we had a fair few each and felt absolutely bloody…nothing. I just was tired, but I was already tired, so I just went to bed and Emily followed shortly after. About 2 hours later I woke up with a ‘funny tummy’ and as most of us do when this happens I went to the toilet, after a few minutes my tummy was killing me and then an almighty eruption happened…of… shit and I had what was the worst diarrhoea of my life (really hope the host of the Airbnb isn’t reading this… I did clear it up!). As I say maybe we just had a bad batch, but in all honesty I’m not really sure what had been put into these cookies, so I probably wouldn’t recommend them after that experience, maybe just stick to smoking the stuff as opposed to eating it.
Well it seems appropriate to leave you hanging on the edge of your seat… or your toilet seat after that one, so, that’s all for now ladies, gents, non-binaries and gender fluids I’ll leave you to hold on for part two, which if you want to hear more about this proposal that went on at 4 in the morning, the live 3 hour sex show and the Irish barman that I tried all my pulling techniques on (all which failed), then fingers crossed I’ll have it up and posted for you next week.
Enjoy your weekend and remember that you are awesome!
See you soon