Hi, firstly I am writing this at the speed of lightning because I’ve just had a Starbucks coffee and it’s given me a lot of energy to finally sit down and write a bloody blog for the first time in ages. I am not going to bore you with a load of excuses, however I do think I have had too much to write about and so I didn’t really know where to start, but I am going with this. Now I am not really sure what this post is supposed to be, I mean I guess I am keeping with the theme of how everything is not how it seems on my Instagram (No it’s nothing to do with using PHOTOSHOP, believe it or not folks it’s just makeup, a good angle and a hell of a lot of breathing in), but I guess I’ll kind of be bringing dating into this post and how that’s all going (lol a disaster), who knows, but about 4 paragraphs down you can make up your own mind.
So, lets get into it with the main part of this post I guess, my Instagram, now I’m not writing this because I actually think people give a shit, I know there’s only a few people who maybe reading this (literally just my friends because I asked them too) but, I kind of want to get this stuff of my chest. I made the not so great idea of linking Instagram to my tinder (yes, I have tinder & bumble too, really trying to up my game), anyway I feel like because of the type of pictures & captions I post on my Instagram I don’t want people thinking that’s all I am. I mean yes, I am a sexual person as it were, I like to tease I guess you would say and get all glammed up and all of that (mum, dad please just stop reading & get back to your evening news), however that is literally a small part of my personality. For example the picture I posted Monday night with the caption ‘when I lay in bed I touch myself and think of you’, I mean I wasn’t actually lying in bed touching myself thinking of someone I mean I don’t do that (only occasionally), I was in bed eating fucking chocolate catching up on Lord Of The Rings on Netflix (yes I said it, I truly love them and Aragorn and Arwen really were my first crushes as an 12yr old girl (sick I know). My point is bonnie thoughts is my Instagram, bonnie, being my middle name is kind of like my alter ego I guess, but hi I’m Evie, I’m here too.
Now to really get a grip of this if you’re reading this blog check out my Instagram, I know what you’re thinking (slag), but like I say really I am just some goofy, awkward, laughs at her own jokes moron. Now I could be making a massive mistake in writing this because obviously I have been dating (I’ve literally been on two dates, fail), but any man or woman who I may end up talking too…just to make a side note for a second and family members who didn’t know yes I am bisexual, I have a very buzzing interest in guys and girls would you believe. I was maybe thinking about writing a post on that but, then I sort of thought meh who really cares nowadays anyway, it was all the usual stuff, getting the tingle when girls would kiss in a film (parents seriously stop reading), fancying the hot female geography teacher in school and then finally having some experiences when I knew that’s what I am also attracted to. No this does not mean that I am constantly checking girls out wherever I go, including changing rooms or my own girlfriends but, basically, I am attracted and would happily have relations with both genders, sometimes even at the same time! (chuckling to myself on that last bit, hehee). Seriously though now I am single, women are hard to talk to on these dating apps, I feel like such a goof when I message them like I always want to go in with a complement and then I say it and just think my god, waiting for her to unmatch me. Sometimes you get the girls as well where the conversation is just so dead it feels like I’m talking to an old school friend who secretly didn’t like me, and they just accidently swiped right instead of left. It’s just something I’m trying to get better at, talking to women, any tips, let me know!
Anyway back to the ‘truth’ (told you I didn’t know where this blog was going, must be the coffee), so okay you’ve looked at my Instagram and as I was saying, it is just my front because there’s so much you don’t see and I appreciate you’d have to be a real closed minded nob to think that’s all there is to me or to anyone but I am sure there are some people that think it. So, I will literally come in from home after work go to the fridge and take a bite out of the cheddar cheese I have bought, it just keeps me going until dinner. I started crying when I ate my steak last night because I started choking, I got through it, burst into tears because no one was coming to save me and then thought how i’m going be on my own forever and die alone (depressing I know), I constantly send my friends (who are saints for putting up with me) videos of me just crying about something that’s happened or videos of me singing in the bath because I actually think they like to hear it (they don’t), I put Good Morning Britain or BBC News on every morning (seriously I actually love watching and discussing the news) and have the same conversations with myself about Brexit! I also have an obsession with crime documentaries and serial killers, which I’ve actually stopped watching as much because I was having some fucked up dreams. I have a real OCD problem with organisation and cleaning. I read the back of the shampoo and conditionor bottles when i go to the toilet to help me concentrate (i just felt that that was important to share). The saddest part (I still think it’s cute but whatever) I have a teddy which I have had since I was born who sleeps in my bed (lol as if he actually sleeps, just staring at the ceiling thinking about when is she actually going to give me away!) no but seriously, every morning I leave for work, I turn back and say ‘love you ted’ because I’m not just a sexual, wild 21yr old woman, I’m still sometimes just the 15yr old girl who cries at the proposal every time Ryan Reynolds tells Sandra Bullock that he loves her.
Well, that was a lot. I do of course have a deep, serious and mature side as opposed to this and my instagram but I don’t share that with everyone. I feel like for someone who wants to date, I’m really setting myself up for a fail here, however at the end of the day you have to just accept someone for who they are and that’s just me people (there’s literally just that tiny group of friends reading this), but anyway my point is don’t invest everything into what you see on someone’s social media because it makes me feel sad when most of my DM’s are basically just wanting a fuck instead of just a nice Hi, how are you (seriously I actually was just sent a dick pic by a random guy through insta at 6am this morning). However, I do also understand that you get what you put out there, anyway I hope you’ve enjoyed whatever this was and I’m sure I’ll get back to regular posting sometime soon. Remember your brilliant and can achieve anything you want too & if you feel like no one believes in you just know that I do and believe in yourself too!
See you soon,